In my travels I often find people who are struggling. Compounding that struggle is the added stress of helping the people around them. Some have financial troubles of their own, but are trying to support other people. Some are tired and physically exhausted, but are taking care of the people around them. Others are emotionally drained, but helping their friends through a relationship breakup. I am sure you know someone like this or perhaps you fit in one of these categories. All of these are examples of kindness, however I challenge you to take a step back and look at the larger picture. The key to effectively help other people is to help ourselves first. That is not to say you should stop giving of yourself. You need to be careful not to give to the point of sacrifice. Giving to others should feel good; it shouldn’t feel like a struggle.

Here are five ways you can take care of yourself in a way that will put you in a position to give back in a way that has a more positive effect on you and others.

1. Take charge of the things you can control

You may know people who have lost a job and then stopped taking care of themselves and maybe even damaged the relationships they have with people around them. Obviously, this is not an ideal scenario and leads to a situation where your life can feel out of control.

When I find myself struggling in an area of my life I look for the things I have control over and make sure they don’t suffer as well. For example, if I am facing a challenge in my career, I may focus my attention on exercise and diet as one area I can control and look for positive results. I don’t ignore the things that are going wrong, but I make sure the things I have control over don’t slip.

2. Give back

Whatever your struggle, give something in that area, but not to the point of sacrifice. If you are having financial troubles, give a small amount of money away. For example, if you are buying a coffee, give a tip. If you are on the street and someone need a few dollars, give a few dollars. Not giving actually reaffirms the lack of finances while giving makes you feel good.

3. Focus on your desire not your obstacles

A lot of people focus on the obstacles they face instead of on what they desire. We attract into our lives the things we spend time thinking about. If you are thinking about negative things, you will attract more negativity. Instead, focus on your desire. What you desire is likely closely related to the obstacles in your life. For example, if you struggle with your health, what you desire is actually a healthy lifestyle. Focusing on your poor health will attract more poor health. Focusing on the outcome of a healthy lifestyle will help you attract and achieve the results you want. For more information on how to do this, read my blog post “Attracting What You Want in Your Life

4. Invest in your future

Everything you do now is an investment in your future, akin to purchasing an insurance plan. Giving time, consideration and dedication to diet and exercise, your career and so on will lead you to a better financial future. Giving back to others becomes easier when we do it from a place of strength.

5. Love yourself

You can think of this like you are filling a cup where you are the cup. When you fill the cup with love you have more to share with the people around you. If your cup is empty, giving to others will always be a struggle.

I hope your cup runneth over. Have a wonderful month, filled with health, happiness and success.


Eddie LeMoine
International Speaker, Author and Employee Engagement Expert
Implement Change in Your Work and Personal Life